i was almost an abortion

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Battlefield











some words i have processed
in my mind and out my pores
for a million hours or more,
have been things i have seen
places i have been
inside me they remain
something good i will contain
forever in my brain.

tom eubanks,
was my bff at one time,
now he's someone that reminds
me of  why u should never let
others deep inside
instead, sometimes,
just hide,
cause they're monsters there that breed
and dump their evil seed
way deep down, inside,
make a mess and then collide
create a scene that can't be denied
as something justified
in their own convoluted mind.
this song was ours back then
i still cant comprehend
why and what went wrong
when i listen to this song.

we were young,
heartache to heartache,
we stood, still
no promises
no demands,
our love was a battlefield,
and now, it's over.













and now,
he's outta my life.





it started very innocently.
i thought i was being nice.
but i'm ususally not the best judge of these sorts of things.
i see things very differenlt than most.
i look for the best in everything.
i believe there is good in all.
i am convinced that good will always outweigh bad,
triumph over evil,
the sun will always brighten what dark things hide in the night.
people will not let the dark side win.
they like the idea that it could,
even would,
but the reality is,
noone wants that.
everyone roots for the underdog.
no one wanted to believe that bad was finally here to stay
and the torch that kept us bright
had been blown out with just one puff.

but it was gone.
it had left,
and left the remaining ones there cold,
shaken, alone, and frightened.
what now?
what next?
why, why?

there was nothing offered as an answer.
no one to soothe the  restless heads that now were seconds from imploding.
no gentle hands to caress the children below,
or the adults everywhere.
every man for himself
someone said from somewhere far away.
it echoed through streets,
bounced off buildings,
vibrated off glass.
it was the last sound anyone heard before
it all went
completely
black.







Somebody




sometimes people say
things that dont really matter, anyway.
but they like to hear
the words they say are clear,
but dont they know
in the end i just don't care.
i hear you,
yes i do,
i understand ur words, to u
mean something,
but you see,
they just don't mean a thing to me.
so stop
and just remember
that theres times,
like last september,
when i cared and would have thought
ok, u sold, i bought
but now i have to say
enough,
go ur own way...
ive heard it all before,
so please dont be a bore,
and me, i'll just ignore
all the lame things you adore,
are things i can't explore,
nor will endulge
so enough,
now ur just a nudge.

i gotta rock on with it,
be something in my life the way i live it,
to know it's about what i want
and in the end,
you must depend,
u will not be around me in the end.

your just not somebody
i care to spend
one more minute with,
the end.

Salute Remix



the 2 that inspired me the most,
they brought me up when i was feeling down,
they gave me hope,
dreams and pushed my mind to
see that there's more to life than i even imagined.
there are things i'll never dream possible,
others may one day be probable.
some will be unstoppable.
my life will be undeniable
as one that will show me as reliable,
no more places do i need to go
no more seeds i need to sow,
nothing else i can outgrow,
and in my head,
i know i know...
it's time to start again,
say goodbye to these old friends,
not be stuck on their sad and bitter end,
just know in myself i can depend.
theres nothing more i need to show.
and so now,
i can go
and continue, mature and grow.
it's my life,
my head,
my dreams,
my mistakes,
my destiny.
it's mine,
and i will make it now
my own.


salute

My Neck, My Back



first u gotta putcur neck into it...
dont stop just do it do it

Doin' it

Wrong

i knew it was wrong...




























but i did it anyway.

maybe im wrong.





it started very innocently.
i thought i was being nice.
but i'm usually not the best judge of these sorts of things.
i see things very different than most.
i look for the best in everything.
i believe there is good in all.
i am convinced that good will always outweigh bad,
triumph over evil,
the sun will always brighten what dark things hide in the night.
people will not let the dark side win.
they like the idea that it could,
even would,
but the reality is,
noone wants that.
everyone roots for the underdog.
no one wanted to believe that bad was finally here to stay
and the torch that kept us bright
had been blown out with just one puff.

but it was gone.
it had left,
and left the remaining ones there cold,
shaken, alone, and frightened.
what now?
what next?
why, why?

there was nothing offered as an answer.
no one to soothe the  restless heads that now were seconds from imploding.
no gentle hands to caress the children below,
or the adults everywhere.
every man for himself
someone said from somewhere far away.
it echoed through streets,
bounced off buildings,
vibrated off glass.
it was the last sound anyone heard before
it all went
completely
black.





stop, please?





long starry nights,
unedited babbling conversations that take you nowhere,
starting and ending,
always in the middle,
with nothing to alter
good or bad
or unseemingly indifferent,
never right or wrong,
just spoken
and elaborated on
with nowhere to go.
just words
leading to words,
telling stories of what once happened when
with who and what the results were,
if any.
what did i say?
who was i talking about?
where am i?
why am i telling you this?
what were we talking about?
do u feel that weed?
damn...
so, anyway,
i was saying...
where did this begin?
how does one make it end?
it just won't stop,
it just, won't, STOP!



please make this stop.




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